Application for the Artistic Director of The Globe

Dear Globe,

I understand that there will be an opening for Artistic Director at your theatre in 2018 and I am writing to ask if you would consider appointing a puppet?

Puppets are really trendy these days and in that spirit I am putting myself forward for consideration.

Do not be shocked by my appearance, I come with a range of different hands and heads that can easily be changed. As you can see I can be made in the likeness of William Shakespeare. But I could also be the Earl of Oxford. Or Burbage. Or whatever. I could be made into a woman, or a person of colour. Or I can be made to have two faces. 

As an actual puppet I have never knowingly had an opinion about anything. I will do whatever you make me do, and say whatever you make me say. These are not even my own words so if this application does not address your needs, simply rewrite it according to what you want.

On the subject of original practise, who knows what Mark Rylance would really want, but I am more than happy to wear a doublet and hose 24/7 around the office if that helps.

I come with puppeteers or you can learn to puppet me yourself.

A word of warning though. People don’t hold puppeteers in very high regard and a lot of people find puppetry a bit creepy. Some people positively recoil. But I am sure you can handle a bit of controversy.

I hope to hear from you soon and look forward to having your hands up my arse.

Regards, 

A. Puppet